Thursday, December 1, 2011

Sterling Mei: (5) A Tale of Eagles

View from Pacaya… a mission trip we took earlier in the year… a reminder of perspective.  
The mountains are big, but the view is beautiful. 

The telephone sitting on her desk finally rang. She had been waiting for this call for five years. The caller I.D. identified it as Children's Hope International, our adoption agent. Kellie pressed the green button, and said, "hello." And while this was the call we had long awaited, this was not the message we hoped it to be.

Why does it always come down to birds for me?

1O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;
 2To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary.
 3Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee.
 4Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name.
 5My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips:
 6When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches.
 7Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice.
-Psalm 63 KJV

1 Hear my cry, O God; 
   listen to my prayer.

 2 From the ends of the earth I call to you, 
   I call as my heart grows faint; 
   lead me to the rock that is higher than I. 

3 For you have been my refuge, 

   a strong tower against the foe.

 4 I long to dwell in your tent forever 
   and take refuge in the shelter of your wings

-Psalm 61 NIV

In the early months of 2003 we adopted Aleks from Russia. The weather was very cold and the skies were mostly gray, but we remember this time as perfect. The complications somehow only made the whole experience sweeter. We were at our best during those few weeks. We were fearless. We could not be stopped. I had a verse of scripture that stood as my foundation. Nothing could shake me because these words were engraved on my heart.

Whenever I felt small and overwhelmed, I pictured myself sheltered under those outstretched wings, and I knew that nothing that mattered could touch me. No matter what happened, at the end of my days... it would be only the eyes of God that returned my gaze. My strength would return as I felt the beat of His wings rush the air over my back.

And so, now back in the present... Kellie sent me a text and relayed the news of yet another delay. As I read the words, I remembered a comment I made to my uncle yesterday about Kel and I being "professional wait-ers." These words now stung as I wrestled with frustration, impatience, and anger.

Our dossier had been "mis-filed" along with three other families by the agents in China. We are powerless and have no other option except to wait another 30 days and hope for our desired phone call at the end of the year. What started as an expectation of a 3 year journey, now moves into the 64th month.

I drove my car until I found an abandoned factory and then parked and shut off the engine. I needed some silence. I needed some space. I needed a moment to breathe. I closed my eyes and reluctantly took a moment to check myself and I began to tell God.

And as simple as that... I rememberd:

 28Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.
 29He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.
 30Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:
 31But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. 
-Isaiah 40 KJV

I sat in my car listening to the stillness as I let those words bathe my mind. My perspective began to shift. Things would be all right. I yield to the timing of God. I yield to the understanding of God. I simply yield.

I picked my phone back up and send Kel a simple text:

"We are gonna be some mighty strong birds."

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