Thursday, April 11, 2013

GUATEMALA 2013: (12) Resignation To My Shadow Man

Why should we live with such hurry and waste of life...
When we are unhurried and wise, we perceive 
that only great and worthy things 
have any permanent and absolute existence, 
that petty fears and petty pleasures are but 
the shadow of the reality.
-Henry David Thoreau, Walden

Hire Date 10/16/2000
I never wanted to work for Kroger. In fact, I was embarrassed by it when I first landed the job. I told myself that it was only temporary. I envisioned my son standing in front of his class on career day with all the other students. I could hear his classmates saying, "my dad is an attorney, my dad is an architect, my dad is a doctor." Then my son would step forward and say, "my dad is a grocer."

I actually walked out the first week... only to call Kellie from my car and have her tell me, "you have a 6 week old son and bills to pay, get back in there." And so, I slipped back in to discover that no-one had noticed my earlier retreat. I picked my badge up off the shelf and went back to work.

Over the years I learned that Kroger was not only a decent job, it was a great career. After 5 years of apathy and stagnation I began to recognize the possibilities and pursue a real path of success that had led me to develop a resume with a competitive edge. I was ready for further promotion.

And then I began to realize that this man that I had become was only a shadow of who I was created to be. My eyes began to be locked on a passion that became a vision and then an undeniable calling.

It was at this time that I received multiple offers for promotion that I had been pursuing without result for years. I remember looking my potential boss in the eye and telling him "no." Instead of saying yes to what had previously been my dream job... I found myself wiping tears and telling him of the children in Guatemala. 

For the first time in my life, I knew who I was created to be.

And all the memories of the days you lost
You add them up and then you count the cost
You're just a shadow of a man undone
Another life that has just begun
~Lyrics from Neulore, Shadow of a Man

And so, at the top of my game with a Fortune 50 company that I had learned to love... today I issued my resignation with a smile and a heart at peace.

We have this single life to live and we have these finite days to spend. It is time to pursue this worthy existence. 

It is time to throw off the shadow man and take hold of who I was created to become. 

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
~The Shepherds Psalm

So light your torch and follow me...

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