Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Listen to the Truth in the Darkness

How do you explain, how do you describe
A love that goes from east to west
And runs ad deep as it is wide
You know all our hopes, You know all our fears
Words cannot express the love we feel
But we long for you to hear

So listen to our hearts, and hear our spirits sing
A song of praise that flows
From those you have redeemed
We will use the words we know
To tell you what an awesome God You are
Words are not enough to tell You of our love
So listen to our hearts

If words could fall like rain
From these lips of mine
And if I had a thousand years
I would still run out of time
So if you listen to my heart
Every beat would say
Thank you for the life, thank you for the truth
Thank you for the way

[ Lyrics from: ]

More lyrics:

I am thankful tonight. Do you ever walk the house when it is quiet and everyone is asleep? You could believe the world to be perfect. My son and daughter are in their rooms, guarded safe against the world and all that is to come their way. 

I know they will face all that gravity and humanity can press down upon them, and I know that beauty will also always surround them. I don't want them to be perfect. I pray that their mistakes allow them to grow. I do not worry about my own failings because they need to see my struggle.

They need to know that it is worth the fight.

And yet, tonight they sleep softly in their beds. The night is held away, and it covers us with its silence.

I am thankful tonight that I am able to be their father. I am so thankful that I am a husband. My wife also sleeps tonight, just a few feet away from where I silently type in the terminal glow. The grace that carries her is the greatest strength I know. Her willingness to face life head on with me is astounding. 

We see the dangers and threats in life, and yet... we work to calm our fears with the knowledge of our beliefs. Beliefs that have held us tightly through the worst of storms. 

I do not want an easy life. I pursue this life of meaning. A reliance on God is only possible when we see how weak we are, and how strong his promises bind us to his purpose.

The moonlight whispers past the glass, and the silence permeates my mind. I hear the dog as he looks over at me and then lies his head back down. He is my sanity. His behavior always reflects my emotions. He is my barometer.

I am thankful tonight. I am in awe. God is proving to be my provision.

I have always worried about what I could do for God... and recently understood that the answer is simply NOTHING. And I am relieved. But what he can do for me... when I surrender to Him is as limitless as the sky outside my window.  

I look forward to my return to Guatemala this November. I had no money for my ticket, but felt so compelled to go that I decided to toss aside pride and ask my friends and family to give me money to go. I am in awe of the provision of God. Within a day I had $600. After 9 days our needs are met. Now we can work on collecting additional donations and sponsorships.

Oh yes I am thankful tonight.

I am a bit of a ragamuffin. But I promise you what you see is what you get. My life has been captured by the authenticity of a God who meets us in our brokenness, as well as in quiet, perfect nights. My goodness did not bring about my relationship with Him, but my relationship with Him brings about all that is good in my life.

The impact of adoption on my life has flooded my mind with truths and parallels of the relationship of God to me. Recently Kroger published a story about our adopting our daughter... and I keep trying to explain to people that I did nothing more than allow an incredible blessing to be in our home.

How can we see the world and not be changed? When we open our eyes to see, and then take action based on the conviction of the images our soul beholds... then how can we not be filled with the realness of the God of the universe?

My soul is thankful tonight. 

This song says what I am so inadequate to say...

When the world seems too big, and my everything is overwhelmed... it is the truth in this song that carries me through. 

I am not afraid to weep... I am not afraid to sing... I am not afraid to open my eyes and see that I am so unworthy. Yes, my children have much to face in this life that will cause them pain... and yet I know that every tear is worth this experience of God among us.

His truths are here. They exist in those that we can reach out to. I have found God through the beauty of those who are willing to take my hand. Had I  never adopted, I would have never understood the love and action of God. Had I never gone to feel the embrace of a hungry child, and helped raise walls that will cover that child... I would not understand the embrace that holds me.

I am thankful tonight. I am thankful that God has saved me.

Wherever you are... whatever you do. Do not give up quite yet...

There are those who look to us... and our choices will shape their lives. May they see in us the truths that will always get them home.

I am so thankful that I am here.

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