Recently my imagination has been captured again by AMC. While our television watching has decreased dramatically over the past year, we have watched several AMC series' with rapt attention. Breaking Bad is a terrible story with terrible characters who make terrible choices. It truly is abysmal and with has no redeeming qualities. And yet... the characters seem real and their struggles resonate with the human condition and the struggles of life. We watch as the life of a man is shattered and something deep within his soul seems to snap. It reminds me of the scene I watched each Christmas as a kid of the Grinch's heart shrinking 2 times too small.
Life does not always behave as we expect, and sometimes it can shatter us. I think belief plays a big role in how we handle the pressure. Mr. White broke bad when he found life meaningless. It leaves me to ask the question, how would things have turned out differently if his actions would have backed his belief? I find similarities between my life and the life of Walter White. We each encountered moments in our lives that broke us. I think it is reasonable to say that we all have had those moments. If you haven't so far... then the time will find you.
It is in these breaking moments that our character matters. The pressure of life begins to boil the content of our soul and we either cling to the promise of our convictions or we abandon what we know and seek solace in the flight.
The problem with running is that you can't run forever. When you finally have to collapse... you are the same person with the same problems. But this is the good news. God loves broken people. He makes all things new. If you have been broken... it is time to discover your belief. It is your moment to begin coming back.
I was broken by the conditions of living that I encountered in Guatemala. I was broken by the poverty of my own belief and convicted by the lives of faith that I observed by the people who held their faith in the midst of devastation. I came home and my own problems seemed ridiculous, my stress seemed petty, my missteps and sins glared as selfish... I felt humiliated by my own world.
What do you do when your world suddenly glares as false? You break. This is the power of the realization of true belief. A moment like Paul had on the road to Damascus when God slammed him blind in the dirt. A moment like Walt White had when the Dr. told him he had cancer. Each a moment when a man realized that what he had believed was suddenly stripped bare and empty in a moment.
Has God ever found you in a scene like this? You know... when it seems like the world is crashing down around you and you are standing defenseless and in your underwear? Hopefully not literally! We all find ourselves broken.
I think it is important to know that the brokenness is not the end. It is the steps we take after we break that make all the difference. Will we break bad... or we will begin backing belief with action?
As we take steps towards God, He is there to take our hand. God's story is His pursuit of us. His pursuit of me. His pursuit of you.
Life for us... is amazing as we pursue living our belief and allow the love of God to guide our steps. Everything takes on powerful meaning when you do it because of the love of God. Fears dissolve. Barriers shatter. The impossible simply happens.
Kellie and I are missionaries because this is where we find ourselves being pursued by God. This is how our brokenness is being mended. God finds us all in different places. We simply need to listen for His voice and take steps of obedience.
My path is Guatemala... yours is probably different. God needs people to stand all over. When your world is broken, change the equation.
Break good. Find your element. Pursue it with passion.