Saturday, April 23, 2011

Aleksandra Elise: (12) Russian Top Ten Travel Tips

Russian Top Ten Travel Tips
See Reference Below!

#10  Every Van Driver is not named Vladimir.
The man who drove our van in our first trip to Russia was called Vladimir. We returned on our second trip to find another man driving our van who was also called Vladimir.  I incorrectly thought that maybe this was just a word that meant Van Driver, and I asked the question. 

#9     If the menu specifies an item as "Meat," don't ask any further questions.

#8     If you're a female, in a Cathedral... take off your gloves!
We learned this the hard way as a very animated and offended Babushka rushed over to Kellie in a panic!

#7     Be sure to pee before you take a Russian Road Trip (and bring your own T.P.).
We all learned this one at the expense of Kellie. It involved a stop alongside a village tavern, a run across a dangerous multi-lane road, locals who did not want Americans around, payment to use the facility, and... an absence of toilet paper.

#6     If you look too much like a Russian, people will think you are Russian.
I found this one out first-hand. It was my goal to simply not look like an American, and so I buzzed my hair, wore dark clothes and clunky shoes.  Apparently I was far too convincing. 

#5     Beware of the couple on the plane that shoots Vodka and then hides under the blanket.
No, this was not us... and I can't tell you what they were doing (this is a non-adult content site).

#4     It is advisable to simply throw your underwear away.
This lesson was courtesy of me. The airport security agent found it necessary to open my suitcase in the middle of a thousand people and sort through my dirty underwear one pair at a time. Very thoroughly.

#3     When shooting Vodka in a gift shop--have a buddy.
This one was me. I figured, "why not?" and then stumbled into a wall to the delight of many onlookers.

#2     When in a ceiling to floor bathroom stall in a Russian government building--know how to operate the door.
I wanted to tell this story in one of my early posts, but decided it wasn't pertinent to the story (Kellie was glad I thought so). We were on our way to get our referral information and Kellie went missing. Our guide found her several minutes later, locked in a wooden and concrete bathroom stall, crying out "Anastasia... help me please." 

#1     If you can't get your reservation--have your baby poop on you and threaten to change the diaper on the counter!

1 comment:

  1. Poor Kellie. I bet she just loves you sharing these. I'm sorry Kellie, I couldn't help but laugh (but just a little ;) )