Monday, September 19, 2011

A Life Worth Living-From Dust to Belief.

I know what matters.

Have you ever found yourself at that point that you wonder... does anything really matter? What can I possibly do? I just can't... anymore.

There are moments that speak directly to my heart. I have to tell you... I have doubts sometimes. And, frankly... these doubts have shaken me to my core. I mean... how can you be a follower of Jesus, having been raised in the church... and yet still doubt the existence of God?

Surely... I must not be good enough to believe. My doubt must mean that I am unworthy. My faith must be false. My walk is not perfect. I am simply a sham. And life is pointless. It is SIMPLY POINTLESS!

Because... the only thing I know is what I feel I can not be. Straight is the way and narrow is the gate... and surely I have NO HOPE of being one of the few.  And so... there simply exists no hope. Who wants a life of hopelessness... better to live for the day and smile while you can.

Except... there is such an emptyness there. 

And so... the soul absolutely weeps... no-- it BLEEDS in the darkness.  Surely I am not alone here! Have you felt the infinite smallness and failing of your being? Have you wondered WHY??? 

Do you know that this line of questioning is pointless?

I have had my doubts... so many of them. Have you ever walked in the rain so the drops can disguise your tears? Have you ever screamed until your throat tasted like blood while you firmly gripped the wheel and drove in the dark? Have you ever cursed God?

While we rage... He remains the same. I think of David... and all of his mistakes... and I remember that God called him, "a man after my own heart." I think of the unwillingness and the faithlessness of Moses... and yet God used him to save a nation. I think of the cowardness and the denial of Peter... and yet God used him to lead a movement. 

And then... there is me. 

I. Am. Nothing.

And yet...

I was created by the hands of God. I was created by the hands of The God that were forced down and nailed to the beams of a board. I am stunned by that amount of belief. That amount of love.

The hands that formed my body also formed yours. We are here... in this place. The madness of humanity and the storm of our emotions RAGE around us all. And yet...

we were created by this God that gave chances to David and Moses and Peter. They were failures... and they were saved by their love for God.

And I realize then who I am. And that makes all the difference.

My son stopped my world today. He walked up to me as I was watching the Colts suffer their second loss of many this season. My 11 year old son reached out his hand and handed me $20. He said he wanted it to go to the Team House in Guatemala.

My soul was overwhelmed. It still is. I had not spoken to him directly about our conviction to be a part of the mission at Catalyst in Guatemala... but his eyes and ears had picked up on our heart cry. He and I have worked this summer cutting grass at Kellie's grandparents. He earns the $25 each time and is saving his money for his future. Each week he pockets $5.

Caleb is a very thoughtful boy... and plans out specifically what he wants. And today, he handed me a month's worth of $5 bills. And then said that he has more coming to me. 

Oh... yes. There are things in life that matter. There are those that watch what we do. For every night that is filled with doubt... there is a morning with a warm sun and a hot cup of coffee. It is at times like this that I remember that this world is temporary... while my belief is eternal.

God makes beautiful things out of dust.

Out of us.

This is what we have decided to pour the evidence of our belief into. This is that cause that my son has witnessed me believing in. I share it with you because it captivates my heart and satisfies my soul. True belief calms the storms of the night.

Do you see the beauty that God can make?
Give $20 and help buy block to build a future.
Donate $30.00 a month and change a life forever.

<<click HERE to become a sponsor of a girl you can meet>>

I Ieave in just a few short weeks to again embrace and work alongside my friends in Guatemala. I am so humbled and thankful to those of you who have already donated... and to those of you who have agreed to come with me. This experience will forever change who you are and how you experience life.

<<click HERE and designate your contribution to the Team House>>
A $20 donation makes a difference in purchasing block to complete this project that will allow people like you and me to join them in their efforts to meet the real needs of people just like us... who are searching for meaning in life.

When I look into the eyes of my children I see the meaning of a life well lived. And I know the answer to...

...A Life Worth Living. It is a life made out of dust.

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