Wednesday, September 21, 2011

GUATEMALA 2011: (24) Eyes Opened My Belief

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

I find myself here again... at my keyboard trying to discern the sincerity of my heart. The day had a way of pulling from my being today, and yet I found that I was not diminished. Pieces of belief are beginning to settle into the gravel of my mind. My perspective has been altered by this view from this hill top. I am not yet on the mountain, but I can see the sky silouetted by its shape. I can feel the breeze that shakes the trees. I feel its touch on my face. I imagine myself as a thirsty believer at the base of the mountain when the inscribed stones were delivered by the glowing face of a changed Moses.

"How can I stand here and not be moved by you?" Would you tell me me how could it be any better than this?"

My circumstance and my situation do no longer dictate the power of the truths that I have seen and experienced. Every night I feel a deep desire to try my best to communicate to anyone who is willing to read... the incredible realness of belief that lives and breaths.

I was raised in a bit of a dark Christianity. A religion of expection and measuring up. I was concerned my whole life of "making it" and missing the joy of living it. 

It is true that straight is the way and narrow is the gate... but I must plead my case, that experiencing God TODAY should be our purpose... not simply trying to measure up to make it into eternity.

I believe that I am NOTHING... I have no inherent goodness... I can not make it into heaven by my own ability. And... I no longer am concerned that I make it.

Here is what I am concerned with...

That I encounter the real, living God every day. That I allow my heart to be spread open and poured upon. That I allow God to show me that the needs around me are greater than my selfish nature. That I allow God to fill me with his love and understand that his story is bigger than my own... and that it doesn't matter what my outcome is.

What matters is am I moved by the touch of the creator of the universe on my heart. Am I captivated by his perspective to the point that my life is changed? Am I willing to allow his incredible joy that passes all understanding to flood my being?

Can people who encounter me see evidence of this incredible experience in my words and actions and attitudes?

I am done with expectations of men and women. I am done with requirements and to do lists. I am done. My mind is stolen by the visions of children shoeless in the dirt, and villages empty of men. My hope is focused on the faces of those who grasp the eternal treasure of God and find joy in the face of poverty.

How is it that we worship God with frowns on our faces and a sense of obligation? How is it that we walk away after a Sunday service and miss the power of this message? How do we encounter God and not feel our souls gripped? 


Can I tell you how NOTHING else seems to matter in comparison with this encounter? Can I tell you how my personal comfort and security and the "stuff" of earth seems simply lacking and lame? 

If we call ourselves Christians and we believe the message of Christ... then how can we fear for our comfort? How can we doubt our security? How can we protect our very lives? We are promised a "peace that passes all understanding," and we have the chance to walk with God.

I have seen the face of God. He has stared back at me with a steady gaze through the eyes of a barefoot child in a mountain village. He has weeped in my embrace through a mother as she entered her new home. He has filled my home with happiness and love and laughter through the incredible daughter that was brought home through adoption.

The love of God is powerful and it is all around us. There is NOTHING else that we need. And yet... far too many of us miss what is right in front of our face.

"Would you tell me, how could it be any better than this?"

I pray that my eyes remain open. 

The feet of a child... the feet of God.

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